This is Johann Sebastian Bark. (He answers to Joey when he’s not in trouble.)
In January 2014, he wandered off the street, onto campus, into my building, onto my floor, and out of the elevator I was waiting for. He (and all of his fleas) jumped into my arms, went unclaimed for enough time, and has been living his best life ever since.
This is Roseanne Bark, aka Rosie.
In November 2016, I found her hiding under cars in a supermarket parking lot. We thought she was going to burst with puppies any minute, but the emergency vet told us that was just her shape. She enjoys peanut butter and naps.